Review 7: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Atari 2600)

This time, I review possibly the worst game in the history of video games, new or old, 3-D or 2-D. It was based on one of the best movies of the decade, but the game turned out so rushed and horrible that Atari has supposedly bought land just to bury millions of unsold copies.

That's right.

For Review 7, I'm reviewing E.T, the game that was mostly the cause of the Video Game Crash of 1983.

Gameplay: 1/10

I really want to give the gameplay a 0/10. Really. The gameplay is incredibly monotonous, and basically the only things that you will be able to do are drop into holes, find random dots that are supposed to be Reese's Pieces, be investigated by a doctor who takes you in the middle of a bad-looking building, drop into holes, be chased by a policeman, run around from an energy level of 9999 until your level hits 0, which is when you die, drop into holes, find phone pieces, and drop into holes.

Sound F.X: 1/10

Nearly all the sound effects are out of place and annoying to your ear. When you stretch your head in the game, it sounds like a UFO moving. Walking sounds like small explosions. Falling into a hole sounds outlandish and loud. And those are basically all the sound effects in the game, unless you count the 2 similar music scores, which only add to the annoyance.

Graphics: 1/10

The graphics are seriously horrid. For this part I'll show you some pictures of the game.

E.T falling into a really dull-looking pit.


Is that supposed to be a forest?

The buildings, the cop, and E.T.

Holes, holes, holes, and more holes.



Overall: 1/10:

There you have it. The worst game of all time, the rushed E.T the Extra Terrestrial which was created in 6 weeks. The game that many avid fans of the movie who were also gamers anticipated, only to realize in shame that they wasted their money once they tried it out. Thanks a lot, E.T.

Review 6: MOTHER/ Earth Bound (Zero)

Yep, that's right! After about a year of hitaus, I'm back. Now my next review will be on the prequel to Earthbound (or MOTHER 2)*, the much-less played MOTHER, nicknamed Earthbound Zero in America.

Compared to other NES games, the entire game was of tremendous complexity and length, but that's probably because it was released in 1989, when the NES was at the end of its lifespan.

*P.S: You should probably read my Earthbound review first.

Story: 10/10

Like I said, for a NES game, MOTHER has a lot of depth. First and foremost, a prologue in text shows up telling of a couple named George and Maria. One day, they vanished after a strange shadow loomed on their town. 2 years later, as quickly as he vanished, George came back and started a study in complete seclusion. As for Maria... She never came back. Eighty years later, in the 1980's Rural America, the story begins. Ninten, George and Maria's great-grandson, who was named after Nintendo, wakes up and tries to exit his room, but is stopped when his lamp becomes alive and starts attacking him! After defeating it, his father (who we never see in-game) calls him and tells him of how George studied PSI (which it turns out Ninten has), and tells him to go investigate a world crisis. After a few adventures, Ninten realizes that the crisis is the work of an alien named Gigue. He is then transported to a fantastical land named Magicant. Its ruler, Queen Mary, who has a mysterious past, asks Ninten to find her song, the 8 Melodies, and play them to her, as it is crucial for the fate of the world. On his quest, he makes new friends such as Loid, an often-bullied genius, Ana, a girl with psychic powers, and Teddy, the leader of the Blah Blah gang. If you get to play it, you will find some heartwarming moments and some surprises.

Gameplay: 8.5/10

MOTHER's gameplay is kind of different than Earthbound's: There's an overworld map and a battle screen, like in most RPGs, but there is no rolling meter, which means that if you get a mortal hit, you cannot save yourself. Also, you can't see the enemies, which means that you can't avoid them: unless you're in a no enemy zone, you will battle enemies randomly.

Music: 10/10

In this game, compared to regular NES games, the music is diverse. There are 4 battle themes: One is the Hippie Theme, reserved for Hippie fights (duh!) , Car fights and Truck Fights (Those are real enemies!). Another is the Flippant Foe theme, which is for silly or weak enemies, such as anthromorphic crows or snakes. Then there is the Dangerous Foe theme, which, as the title implies, is used for intimidating/tough enemies. Finally, the last theme is not really music, but an eerie sound playing on the final boss fight. There are also many overworld themes such as Humoresque of a little Dog, which is the Drug Store music, Pollyanna, which plays outside if Ninten is alone, and Bein' Friends, which plays outside if Ninten has a party member with him.

Difficulty: 7.5/10

The one problem with this game is its difficulty level- You will probably spend more than half your time trying to gain levels, only to be pounded on by powerful foes! There's so much grinding involved that some may give up.

Overall: 8.5/10

Like its successor, Mother is a truly amazing game, but you need to level up a lot or get enough money for better weapons if you want to defeat it, its biggest downfall.

Available in the Wii Shop Channel for: N/A