Ulp.... (A.K.A: lolwut?)

Well, Mario saw my review and he left. So, I guess that means no more Poop videos.... Except for one more that Mario reviewed before leaving.

Review 4 (YOUTUBE POOP MONTH SPECIAL) : Hotel Mario

This will be the last Youtube Poop review!
This review's highlights: Gameplay, Voice Acting, Story


Okay. We've seen Philips mess things up with our favorite sword-wielding hero, Link, but how will they smash it up for Mario? Let's check.


Gameplay: 8/10

For a Philips game, the gameplay isn't so bad. In this game, the objective is to close all of the doors of the hotel you are in. There are different floors in the hotel (which you CAN see) which can be reached by going through an elevator. In early levels, the elevators will send you straight to the next floor. But in later parts, you'll have to figure out where the elevators will take you to! A video game HAS to have enemies if there is an ending. That's where Koopa Troopas, Goombas and the Koopalings come in. The enemies will try to open the doors as soon as you open them, so you'll have to get rid of them quick! As with most Mario games, you also have the ability to become Fire Mario to get rid of enemies without touching them. The gameplay would have made Hotel Mario an okay game, but unfortunately Philips had to screw it up with...

Voice Acting: 2/10

They just ruined their chances at making a good game with this. Seriously. The one thing that makes me say this is Princess Toadstool's (as she was known by back then) voice. She absolutely sounds NOTHING like a princess. In fact, she sounds like she was voiced by a man (like Miss Piggy is, except much, much less fitting)! As for Mario and Luigi's voices, I can't blame Philips because at the time they looked a bit older.


Story: 3/10

Ahem. Let me sum this up in a bit. Mario and Luigi are walking to see the princess who has invited them for a picnic. When they arrive to the spot, though, Bowser has left a note saying that he and the Koopalings have captured the princess, and dares them to find her. So then Mario goes to all of the hotels and defeats the Koopalings while seeing the princess who always vanishes until they reach Bowser's castle. Once Mario defeats Bowser, he rescues the princess and they finally go have their picnic.

P.S: All 3 of them call you the "best player ever!".


So that was Hotel Mario, a game that Phillips could have released without the story and voice acting, but just haad to mess up.


See ya next time!

Review 3 (YOUTUBE POOP MONTH SPECIAL) :Mario teaches typing 2

There is something wrong here. Giant octopuses guarding ships which may contain treasure don't live in a river. Why does Mario look like he's covered in poop in the first cutscene? How can he not know how to spell "koopa" when he's faced OVER NINE THOUSAAAND!!!!!!! of them in the past? Why is Bowser not even seen in his own castle? And one more thing... Why would Mario need YOUR help to get the 3 pieces of a magical typewriter which will blow up Bowser's castle for no apparent reason by becoming a great typist, if 2 of the pieces are right in front of him and the last is in a slow-flowing stream right in front of him where he could just get that piece right in front of him but instead decides to wait until the piece drifts down near said octopus? You'll be wondering these questions and more if you play this game.



Story: WEEIRD

...You seriously want to know? Okay. The story begins when Mario and Luigi are walking to Peach's castle. They come across Bowser's castle (which has hills with mouths and eyes that spit out letters behind it) and find a typewriter. For no reason, it says "DESTROY TE CASSLE O' BOWSAH!" (not really) and Mario decides to type in the magical message, even though he has a level of illiteracy high enough that nobody but YOU can cure. The typewriter blows up into 3 pieces. Mario could have just left Bowser and his poor Koopa Troopas alone. But noooo. He has to become a great typist, collect all 3 pieces of the typewriter and nearly kill Bowser by blowing up his castle. AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU OFFERED TO HELP MARIO!


Art: WEEERDER

This section of my review will be shorter, but will say more. 0_0 says Mario's face when the typewriter blows up, even when the typewriter said it would blow up. 0_0 says Mario's face when the typewriter spits out a piece of paper saying,"DESTROY TE CASSLE O' BOWSAH!1!!!11!!". And :) says MARIO's head.


The Disembodied Head of Mario: Demented, 1-upping, peppy, creepy, etc.

Inbetween each cutscene, Mario's Head will be saying... Well... I won't review because you could already guess what I was thinking if you read these quotes:

"Can I sing a song for you?"
"...And 3! Weee....."
"Thank you for starting me up!"
"Imma bet you can't do this! Weeee....."
"That-a makes me so happy, I'm-a light headed! Weeee!"
"IIIIIII AIN'T GOT NO BODY!!!!!!!!!!"
"Heeheehee. Heeeheeeheeeheehee. Weee! Haha." (How many times does he say "Weee"?)
"That was Grey!"
"That is my impression of American advertising!"
"Hey, Luigi! It's-a time for you to (die)!"
"When I kiss the princess...."
"Watch out for phalling rocks!"
"Oh, look! It's-a Mario's Expert Express!"
"When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore (a morray)... Get it? A morray eel? Heeheeheeheehee.... I say the funnie."
"If you ready, GO for it!"

"Imma going to fly for you! Vroom...Vroom...Vroom... (crash lands) Ow. I hit my nose!"
"Welcome to the outside world!"
"You'll be typing WHOLE WORDS now!"
"I wonder if there's a hidden treasure down there!"
"Boy, look at that keyboard. I bet you're going to type on it! Heeheehee!"
"Hmm! Oh. Nice computer you've got there. Can I have it?
"Hmm! You have a nice place-a here!"
"Mario's Smash and-a Dash!"
"Hey, anyone got a diving board?"
"Hey, who's that behind you? Made you look, made you look, heeheeheeheehee!"
"Oh, boy! Finally, I'm-a get to move on the ground! Movin' on the ground, movin' on the ground...Heeheeheeheehee."
"Hey, don't leave me all alone! Hey! Where is everybody? COME BACK!"
____________________________________________
I could put WAY more quotes, but I think you've got the picture. I give this game a high rating. You know why? 'Cause III AIN'T GOT NO BODY (well, actually because we all love/hate him.)!

Oh, no!

The Mario head has fallen, and he can't get up!


.... Oh.

Randomness Ahoy!

P.S: Cuz' I wanna.
P.S.S: See ya later!

IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAND!!!!

Today, we will have another poop featuring a VERY used meme. Known first by fans of Dragon Ball Z, Vegeta spouted a line that inspired poops. Here is one of those poops.

This poop's creator is... :mario9090777

Mario Head's Review

Review 2 (YOUTUBE POOP MONTH SPECIAL):Link:The Faces of Evil (CD-I)

This review's highlights are: Art and Voice Acting

Okay. About the only 2 things that are good about this game is that it could be used for pooping and that it was made in 1993. Why is that a good thing? Because there weren't any games that acually HAD voice actors and cinematic cutscenes other than these crummy games. It's too bad that the voice actors and art themselves weren't half good.

Voice Acting: 2/10

How bad can Phillips get? Some cutscenes, such as one where Lupay says "I spy with my eye, someone who must DIE!" are laughable, and others, such as one where Link indentifies a Gohma and gets a sword for no apparent reason from a fisherman who sounds terrible (even though he was already carrying one) are just too horrible for words.

Art:4/10

The art in the cutscenes, for one thing, look like they were made in Microsoft Paint. Link was drawn by different animators for different cutscenes, so in some of them he looks different. In some he has HUGE olive eyes with eyelashes. In some he has beady little eyes and pure brown hair. And in some, he actually looks normal, but his mouth can sometimes get big.

Even though this review is pretty short, this is really enough reason to not play this game. If you don't believe me, just look at this close-up of CD-i Ganon:

Yup. So I'm doing you a favour by telling you to stay away from this game. The voice actors are amateurs, the art is weird-looking, and the the game itself can actually be funny when it's not supposed to be. I rate this game a 2.9.

Oh, yeah, by the way....



From ytmnd.
See ya next time!

I wonder what's for dinner?

If you have been sleeping under a rock for the last 1 year (Happy anniversary, Youtube Poop!), you wouldn't know this quote. But poopers and viewers alike know this famous sentence spoken under the words of KING HARKINIAN! Now here's one of (if not) the first Zelda CD-I poop, featuring... You guessed it, Dinner!

Mario Head's Review